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| Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash |
I have a book on my desk called "200 Writing Prompts" and occasionally I just open it and look for something interesting to write about. Today the one that caught my eye was something I thought was particularly relevant to my kids growing up and getting closer to moving away.
What is one piece of advice you would write on a page and put in your child's pocket?
Here is what intrigued me about this question. The advice on that piece of paper would be different for each one of my three children. I mean, don't you think it should be? For each child out there, the advice will not always be the same. Not everyone needs to be told to relax and enjoy life, or focus to find success, or know when to move on. Some of them are naturally able to relax, focus and move, without our intervention. So, that one piece of advice needs to be specifically tailored to the person to which it is being given.
Here are my three pieces of advice, one in the pocket of each of my boys, given here with a bit of context.
Son A:
Trust yourself. Trust who you know you are, what you believe and how you feel. You are so much stronger, smarter and more capable than you know. Believe in that. Trust that you can make things better and live an amazing life and overcome all obstacles.
(This one is adventurous, open and creative.)
Son B:
Take risks. Don't let fear make decisions for you. You will fail, but you will also get back up and try again, and fail again, and try again, and then succeed! Life is not a straight line, and you are more than capable of navigating the curves.
(This one is centered, sure of who he is, and analytical.)
Son C:
Be vulnerable. Let people in to your thoughts and feelings. Let people know you. I promise they will love you for who you are. I've known you since birth, and you are incredibly worth knowing. It is okay to be strong, quiet and easygoing. It is equally okay to sometimes be scared, nervous and overwhelmed.
(This one is responsible, focused and driven.)
Three different pieces of advice in the pockets of three very different young men. Now, do I want them all to trust themselves, take risks and be vulnerable? Sure, but they don't all need that advice. Each of them needed very different parenting as they grew up (which, let's be real, is exhausting) and each of them needs very different support now that they are older.
I'm not sure if any of them will ever read this. Since it is their mom's blog about getting older and having an empty nest, they probably won't. But I will keep these three pieces of advice in my head, for those times when I am chatting with one of them, and I see they need a little extra encouragement.
What advice would you put in the pockets of your children?