When you scroll through your favorite social media platform, you will find a bunch of people living large lives. They are out there! They are adventuring, and shining and making it big! Even the ones who are sharing their regular lives are getting more attention than they even thought possible, and spending all of their time producing content to get even more attention for their regular daily activities. (Anyone else fall into the rabbit hole of watching people clean their living room at night or make a easy, boring weeknight dinner in front of your eyes. Why do we even watch this stuff?)
Maybe its social media, the internet, the Oscar Awards. Who know. But there is definitely a lot of pressure to live a bigger life than a person might currently be living. I am sometimes overwhelmed by the feeling that my impact on the world should be so much BIGGER!
In reality, I don't think I want to live a bigger life. I think I want to live a much smaller life. Let me explain.
In the last several years, I have attended the funerals of several of my aunts, and also my mother. Each of these women lived through a lot of pain, suffering and hardship in their lives. They also found and shared so much joy, peace and love. They did not survive their hard times and find their good times by reaching millions of people, or making huge world changes. They didn't sell their art or write a bestseller. What they did, every day, every year is love the people closest to them. They found ways to stay positive when it was hard to do so. They just kept living their lives day to day, in ways that made the people around them feel cared for, understood and loved. And when they were gone, their legacy was one of inspiration.
So, instead of wanting all the people to think of me as super smart, or incredibly successful, or even beautiful, I am going to train myself to want the close people to think of me as compassionate, caring, loving and joyful. Actually, even more, I am going to try to be compassionate, caring, loving and joyful, and not focus on what people think of me at all.
Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash