My husband is amazing. I'm not talking about "My husband made me breakfast in bed. He's Amazing!!!" or "My amazing husband brought me flowers!" social media attention getting amazing. He is not amazing because of the things he does for me. He is amazing because of the strong, adaptable, positive person that he is every day of his life.
About 18 months ago, he had a stroke, and recovered almost fully, except he lost the use of his left arm. Since I have known him, he has always said to me that he could handle anything happening to him as long as he could still play guitar. He is an incredible guitar player. So, you can understand how worried I was when we realized he would not be playing guitar like he used to at least for the foreseeable future, maybe never. Except, I wasn't really worried. Because even though he has always said that, I knew him better. And I knew that he would move forward, with positivity and patience, and find a way to be musical. And that is what he has done.
In December, he played his first gig since his stroke. He played keyboard, tambourine, little egg shaker. I'm sure it was nothing like when he used to rip on the Hotel California solo to cheers from the crowd. But he had a smile on his face a mile wide. And he stood up there, having only played keyboard for a short time, and he played his best. And we all loved it. That is where he belongs.
He could have easily given up. He could have been depressed. He could have refused to try. He could have dwelled on the very negative outcome that he could no longer do the one thing that was so essentially him. But that is not him. He doesn't get depressed about what the past or anxious about the future. He faces what is right here in front of him, with the knowledge that everything will be okay. (As a quick aside, we attended an information session with two other stroke couples, and the men who had strokes were markedly more negative than my husband. Our inappropriate stroke jokes were not met with even a smile. I left there with a great appreciation for my husband's outlook on life. Imagine how much harder all of this would have been if he was angry and resentful all of the time.)
Let me be clear. He has his moments. He most definitely misses how it used to be, playing guitar, learning songs, being a rock star, with little effort. Now, each and every note takes concentration and work. But I don't think I know anyone else so perfectly rooted in what is, instead of what was or what might be. He is my inspiration. Somehow, because he believes everything will work out, so do I. Well, let's be real, I still run around yelling "The sky is falling! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!" but once I settle down, I see him calmly moving forward and I realize we can handle a fallen sky.
About 18 months ago, he had a stroke, and recovered almost fully, except he lost the use of his left arm. Since I have known him, he has always said to me that he could handle anything happening to him as long as he could still play guitar. He is an incredible guitar player. So, you can understand how worried I was when we realized he would not be playing guitar like he used to at least for the foreseeable future, maybe never. Except, I wasn't really worried. Because even though he has always said that, I knew him better. And I knew that he would move forward, with positivity and patience, and find a way to be musical. And that is what he has done.
In December, he played his first gig since his stroke. He played keyboard, tambourine, little egg shaker. I'm sure it was nothing like when he used to rip on the Hotel California solo to cheers from the crowd. But he had a smile on his face a mile wide. And he stood up there, having only played keyboard for a short time, and he played his best. And we all loved it. That is where he belongs.
He could have easily given up. He could have been depressed. He could have refused to try. He could have dwelled on the very negative outcome that he could no longer do the one thing that was so essentially him. But that is not him. He doesn't get depressed about what the past or anxious about the future. He faces what is right here in front of him, with the knowledge that everything will be okay. (As a quick aside, we attended an information session with two other stroke couples, and the men who had strokes were markedly more negative than my husband. Our inappropriate stroke jokes were not met with even a smile. I left there with a great appreciation for my husband's outlook on life. Imagine how much harder all of this would have been if he was angry and resentful all of the time.)
Let me be clear. He has his moments. He most definitely misses how it used to be, playing guitar, learning songs, being a rock star, with little effort. Now, each and every note takes concentration and work. But I don't think I know anyone else so perfectly rooted in what is, instead of what was or what might be. He is my inspiration. Somehow, because he believes everything will work out, so do I. Well, let's be real, I still run around yelling "The sky is falling! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!" but once I settle down, I see him calmly moving forward and I realize we can handle a fallen sky.